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Bullying in elementary schools gets worse because children model what they see at home, and there are more cases of physical and emotional child abuse, and this causes various emotional issues in children.
To be really effective, the anti-bullying guidelines should focus on the native life of the tyrant, because of the strong connection between parental acts and attitudes and the way a student treats his colleagues.
The first example tries to cover too many topics: bullying gets worse, the bullying hangs with the life of the student, and bullying causes various emotional problems in children. The second example focuses only on the relationship between the life of the student and the tendency of the student.
Abortion is a terrible practice that would advocate only confused, baby killing monsters under the Guise of Pro-Choice.Despite the vocation of freedom of choice, the legalization of abortion is detrimental to the well-being of women in America.
The first example gives a strong opinion, but does not offer facts to resume it. The explosive language is likely to alienate readers, which may have been compassionate with the position of the writer. The second example promises to offer a rational, if still up to date, look at the problem.
sms her sister who is in the next room to ask her to bring her backpack, means she should get a life.
The use of technology to face the view of the face to face, increases the feeling of the isolation of American youth.
The first statement is to be specific to be a thesis statement. When the specific anecdote for an academic structure is reformulated, the specific anecdote could be used to prove a wider point, but the author could have difficulty writing an overall paper over this incident. The second thesis statement is wide enough that an overall paper could be written about it.
The government should legalize the use of marijuana.
The regulators should legalize the use of marijuana to benefit from the drug sales tax taxes to make the people who need them for medical reasons easier.
The first statement is debatable, but there is no sign that the author has the reasons for such a statement. The second thesis statement offers logical reasons with which the reader can assume that the author is exchanged in the rest of the paper.
People who are healthy and healthy organs should find other people in organs needed by organs they do not need like a kidney, and they sell to the other people because life could save when Financial incentive was offered instead of relying only on the charity organization of the people.
The purchase and sale of organs should be legalized to better facilitate the savings of life.
More words do not always make a better thesis. The second thesis statement is much clearer. The example of the restart statement could be included in the paragraph earlier in order to illustrate what is argued, especially since the object is rather unusual.
Beauty competitions are sexist and harmful to society, and they should be banned everywhere.
Beauty competitions, while you can increase confidence in those who occur in them, you can be sexist and harmful, as they promote the submission of women and superior to physical appearance.
The first example is too simple and opinion. The writer gives his point of view, but it does not drive back with reasons or facts - it is just said. It also offers a too simplified and extreme solution for the problem. The second example, while still offering a concrete opinion on the topic, this view indicates reasons.The writer informs the reader about how he or she is defended about his attitude.
Smoking causes pulmonary damage and other health problems.
Smoking should be illegally made in the United States due to health problems.
The first example is not a point against which one can be argued; It is well known and accepted that smoking is unhealthy. Why are you writing a paper that explains something that everyone already knows, and agrees? However, the second example can be argued: smoking is illegal, is a possible solution for the problem, but it has yet to have evidence and arguments To resume it, because not everyone believes that this is a good solution.
Tests are not the best way to determine academic success.
Tests determine the talent of the student in the examination and memory instead of the actual understanding of the material; Therefore, instructors should use different types of measuring student successes, including papers and projects instead of tests alone.
The first example is too wide; It is more of a general topic than a thesis. The second example is much more specific. It narrows the work from the problem itself to the solution of the problem.
prompt: Describe a character from the movie that shows compassion.
Jack shows pity.
Jack shows pity by his friendly words, selfless volunteering and forgiveness of Alicia's quick-release perder.
The first example uses the request simply as a thesis statement. The second example provides support for the instruction that prepares the reader for an essay, such as Jack's friendly words, selfless volunteering and forgiveness show his pity.
One thing I'll talk about today is one thing that happened to me once when I was a ride on a place where I was there for a certain time.
Standing on a mountain slope in Israel was an experience that redefined my faith and helped me to decide for an archaeologist.
The first example is very vague and offers the reader almost no information. The second example gives the reader a clear idea about what the essay is about. The first example also announces what the author has to do. It is much better to start directly in the essay, causing the reader to dypable the purpose of the essay.
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